This feels silly to write. This is the first time in a bit that I have some free time after work. I usually am working on dailies until 10-11pm, but it’s only 9:30 at the moment. Life is weird. Still applying for jobs, but trying not to have as much hope as I did before. It’s hard because all I want to do is hope.

side note- got really cool socks yesterday. Speaking of which- I applied to be a sock designer. If that ends up bing my career path then…… insane…….

side note to my side note- I’ve been meeting the coolest people through doing dailies. Like so many cool people. I wanna do this forever. Animating feels so fucking good. My therapist told me I have to start taking more breaks and remember to pull away, but it’s so hard. I love doing this so much

I got rejected from a job I really wanted and asked myself “what’s the point?” I went to college for 4 years for this? To laugh hysterically when I get rejected from a job? I’m moving back to Maryland soon. I don’t wanna leave Philly but…. No job, no dice. I keep telling myself that things will be okay…. And I hope they will be soon

I think the hardest part of the job search grind is not knowing where life is going. I feel like I am constantly moving forward with no clear direction. Am I going to be okay? Where will I be? Who will I be? Am I doing everything I can, or am I just a bad designer? I know the market is horrible right now, but at the same time it’s hard to have faith that things will be okay.

Life is mundane at the moment. Work, come home, work on design, sleep, start over again. I love daily motion graphics, and working on this site, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want more than that. I feel like my life is so far out of reach. The most I can do is keep moving forward.

mundane yet chaotic. That might be a better word for everything.

I constantly question if what I am doing is enough. Is my website too…. Childish? Is my work shitty? I got told by someone my work is too abstract and it honestly hit so much harder than I expected it to. I love the motion work I am doing right now….. so hearing it might not be “industry standard” whatever that means, sucks

might look into meeting with a old prof and seeing if he can give me a idea of what jobs to look for. If this one in NY ends up working out it will be both amazing and terrifying. I don’t know if I’m made for New York….. but only one way to find out I guess

I should really have dinner

Hey! I haven't really written anything, so I figured this is the time to post something. No idea if people will read this, but I want to talk anyways.

So I've graduated college! It's been insane! I think the biggest thing has been the response I have gotten to my capstone. Getting the Senior award for the ward of excellence for my capstone blew me away. The response to my capstone has been AMAZING!!! :D I love that people love it as much as I do.<3

The process of making the video was so much fun. I had another idea before I landed on it. I really owe it to my professors because I was going to scrap it all. It wasn't until someone told me "this is your last chance to make something insane" that I was like "yah…lets do it"

I actually finished the video 2 weeks early. Which was… insane. I can't stress enough how much fun I had with it. It was such a joy to work on. I went back into the files recently and was kinda in shock. There are so many effects I have no idea how I accomplished. The entire video was truly a lightning in a bottle type project.

Graduating in general has been bittersweet. It's nice to be in the world, but also I miss my peers! It's not really the same not being able to go to class and be with such talented people. Hoping to be back around some more creative people soon

Since then I have started daily visuals on my Instagram! I've wanted to learn more about how to make cool shit!

Anyways, the job market has been scary. So many applications, and no idea where I will be in the next… few months even. I'm trying to tell myself that I will be okay, but it's hard! Every time I hear another designer/ creative talk about the job market it's a lovely moment of solidarity. But yah! Thanks for reading ^_^

I really hope one day I look back at my old art/writing/messages/blogs and see how far I have come.

Working on the website rn!! Other than that, working to GRADUATE!! I'll write something cooler soon